Shanamadele’s Coffee Break
Pet Peeve #162Archive for balance
All Aboard!
I’m trying to climb aboard the self-acceptance train. I vaguely want to, you know, for the sake of my kid and so I won’t be lonely and bitter when I’m old. So, that was the theme of my therapy session today (only without the railroad metaphor).
To that end, my therapist was asking me about Pumpkin’s vulnerabilities. “Vulnerabilities?” I asked. I was stumped. “What does he need?” she queried.
“Nothing,” came my honest response. Which is true. Pumpkin annoys me on a regular basis with his lack of neediness. I think the only thing I’ve ever heard any of our friends say him needing is me.
I finally allowed that he procrastinates, and she started in on how annoying that can be. I was mad and defensive — how dare she talk about him like that?!
Oh. Oh yeah. What’s good for the gander….
Frustrated
I happen to be doing some contract work for my prior employer.� You know, the one that laid me off in November.
I picked up the phone to answer a call. It was an activist whom I’ve run into in many arenas over the years.
“Oh,” she said, “Lots of campaigns must be hiring right now.”
If I had a dime for every time I hear this phrase from someone….
Listen up, world.� I am not available to work on campaigns.� I am not interested in working campaign hours and then being unceremoniously dumped after the election.� Find someone else.
In related news, yesterday I had two job interviews.� One was with a mid-sized (for Oregon) non-profit organization that is looking for a legislative director.�� It would be a great job.� I am totally intimidated — it’s a real stretch for me and they have a high-quality staff.� The search is bound to be highly competitive.
The other interview was with a group that is fine.� The job is interesting, but would require working campaign hours and commuting an hour a way each day and then regularly traveling to sites an hour or two from that.
I want a challenging job.� I do not want to live for my work and never see my family.
Does this exist?
Can I get this job without jeopardizing my unemployment insurance?
Stuck
I am feeling stuck in my job search and my life in general.
I’m not sure what I want to do. If I knew what I wanted to do, I wouldn’t be stuck.
I want to write something. I keep thinking of things to write — mostly stories about how cute and amazing my kid is. He’s cute. And amazing. We had a really good time getting ready for school today.
I’m going to look at my to-do list and force myself to do the first thing on it. I usually find that’s a good way to get un-stuck.
Gratitude
There’s been a bunch o’ whin-y posts here, of late. Now, I’m taking a crack at gratitude.
So, in addition to my health, family and friends, food and shelter and the lack of bombs dropping on me, I am grateful for
- discovering Smith and Bybee Lakes, which are so close by and accessible. Last week, we saw a bald eagle there. This week, we didn’t get very far because Butternut was more interested in the bikes, cars and airplanes than coots, ducks and eagles. But we also didn’t care, because it’s only 10 minutes from our house. (Plus, we saw a chicken, on the loose, near the preserve’s parking lot. That was much more interesting than anything in the preserve itself.)
- opportunities for improv in the kitchen. Today we had eggs, hashbrowns (from leftover frozen latke-fixin’s) and toast for breakfast, homemade cream of broccoli and celery soup and cheesy potatoes for lunch, and the world’s best cornbread (mmmm, Mollie Katzen) and succotash for dinner. None of which was planned — somehow, we didn’t have enough leftovers for the usual shabbes smorgasbord, and had had too much pasta during the week to turn to that option.
- an opportunity to interview for a research analyst 2 position with the state. On the one hand, there are other jobs out there that would be more challenging. On the other hand, it sure would be nice to have benefits and job security. Big downside: this position is in Salem.
- another opportunity to interview for a political organizer job. Pretty sure it’s not a job I want, but I’m not going to say no to the chance to interview for it.
- a friend noticed the efforts I’ve been making to improve my housekeeping. And, although I was gruff and weird about being complimented on my housekeeping, I am secretly enjoying it.
