From reader Debbie Schwartz — who commented on my 12/09/08 post re: judaism and adoption. (If I were a better blogger, I’d have some links…)

Just stumbled upon your posts from Dec. 2008 about Judaism and adoption and thought you might find it of interest to know that we are running the first annual Forever Families Weekend for Jewish Families Touched by Adoption from June 12-14, 2009 at Camp Nah-Jee-Wah in Milford, Pennsylvania.  A detailed description of the program can be found on the website (entered above) or by visiting the NJ Y Camps website at http://www.njycamps.org/families/html/forever_families.html.  We will be exploring what it means to be part of the Jewish community and part of the adoption community at the same time – all while enjoying the best that Jewish summer camp has to offer!

I love readers– when they comment, they challenge me to think! Here’s some thinking:

Dawn – I’ll be sharing as much as I can without violating the privacy of the group. I want the group to talk about race, ethnicity and identity and ask questions like, “How can we encourage our congregation to welcome racial diversity when there are so few people of color in our community?” “Do we have a shared set of anti-racist values and what do they look like?” “How do we teach our children to honor their birth/first cultures while simultaneously helping them to develop a strong Jewish identity?” “What role do established groups of Jewish people of color (Falasha, Black Hebrews, Conversos) play in our understanding of Jewish identity, and is that helpful to our adopted children of color?” “What issues do children who are adopted into interfaith families face?” “How can we include first families in Jewish holidays and life-cycle events?” “How can we develop/institutionalize liturgies that recognize these complex family relationships?”

Some of these questions, of course, are not unique to children who are adopted.

Magpie Ima – Thanks for your vote of confidence!

I’ve heard the “if you’re not born Jewish, you’ll never be Jewish” argument before, and I also don’t buy it. But, then, I was born Jewish. I was going to say that no-one’s called into question my Jewish identity, but because my father’s Lutheran, plenty of Jews in Baltimore in the ’70s and ’80s dismissively labeled me “half Jewish,” a really silly term in post-Holocaust America. I imagine that how children who come to us through adoption will sit on a continuum in relation to their Jewish identities, and that they will be formed by a complex interaction among religious practice, formal education and community acceptance.  Plus, probably other factors I have not yet pondered.

realsupergirl, I am surprised (in the most literal sense of the word) to see you point out that by Halacha being Jewish by birth is less important than choosing to live as a Jew. While I agree, I wonder how much that influences one’s feeling or sense of identity. I’m surprised, because I know we each have a Jewish mother and a non-Jewish father. My first thought is that maybe our different ways of thinking about it — our different emphasis in what’s important to creating a Jewish identity — stems from my experience growing up in a city with a large Jewish population and yours in a city with a small Jewish population. What do you think?

Fawn, how did I miss the fact that your mother has a birth son who is Jewish? And if the question you ask is not the most important question, it’s right up there in my mind. In a personal way, it’s a question I’ve had to ask myself since my son was born. How do I honor my son’s first mother’s wishes to share pagan celebrations with him? How do I bring her into our family celebrations so she can feel comfortable with this aspect of who he may become?

swankette, I suspect it will always be an issue for Butternut, even if it is less of one because he will know his first mother, anyway.

Mirah, thanks for the references. So, one thing that I read in your comment is that you assume that I and the other adoptive parents in my congregation chose adoption out of some desire for tikkun olam, and we need to be educated about the true nature of adoption. I wonder why you think that?