Shanamadele’s Coffee Break
Pet Peeve #162Family
Butternut’s first mom and her girlfriend were over for Shabbes dinner, along with Aunt B. and Aunt L. (Who are somehow both “B.” to Butternut. It’s not the first time he’s had trouble differentiating among the couples in our lives. For a long time, Aunt F. and Tio S. were just “S.” But now they are different people.)
The thing I like best about this is how normal it is — at least, if I don’t think about it too much. R. comes over periodically. Sometimes she comes alone, sometimes she brings her girlfriend. They are, in many ways, just another couple in our lives. Butternut knows R. is special — he talks about and interacts with her differently from the other adults in his life. We don’t talk often with him about adoption, and he does not seem that interested himelf in talking about it, but we look for opportunities. (“Look, Butternut, here’s a picture of R. when she was carrying you in her uterus.”)
I am reluctant to draw conclusions from this, but I am also drawn to writing about it. I am so curious how Butternut is experiencing his adoption, and I get very few glimpese into it. Having R. around, in our lives, helps.
That’s my boy!
Two stories:
The other night, we ran out of the dreamy chocolate-mint macaroons a friend delivered to our second-night Seder. The only treat-y thihg we had in the house for Passover was the butter-sugar-chocolate-matzoh concoction we affectionately call Maztoh Crack.
We consider this to be too decadent for Boy. So, it was necessary to make meringues. Orange/almond, since that’s pretty much what I had in the house.
The next “I wanna macaroon” was met with an offer. We could make orange cookies, but they wouldn’t be ready until the next day to eat. Okay?
Butternut agreed to my terms. We disappeared into the kitchen, grated an orange, beat some egg whites, chopped almonds, added sugar, and popped about 20 globs of goo into the oven.
We proceeded with our bedtime routine, and Pumpkin turned off the heat at the appropriate time. Butternut went to bed without incident.
At 5 a.m., our alarm went off. Butternut slept through it, which was a relief because the day before he’d gotten up at 5:10 a.m.
At 5:30 a.m. cries of “Mama, Mama” crashed down the stairs. Pumpkin reached The Eminator before I did. “Papa,” he asked sleepily, “do you know where the cookies are? I want an orange cookie.”
___________________
Last night, we put Butternut to bed as we (usually meaning Pumpkin) have done every night for years. We read stories while we all lie down together in bed until Butternut slips into sleep.
Butternut closed his eyes. Pumpkin got up and headed toward the door over creaking floorboards. Butternut’s eyes opened. Pumpkin turned back toward the bed, preparing to once again get beneath the covers. Butternut looked at him and said simply and unambiguously, “Go,” before wearily once again shutting his eyes.
Jewish Adoption Camp
From reader Debbie Schwartz — who commented on my 12/09/08 post re: judaism and adoption. (If I were a better blogger, I’d have some links…)
Just stumbled upon your posts from Dec. 2008 about Judaism and adoption and thought you might find it of interest to know that we are running the first annual Forever Families Weekend for Jewish Families Touched by Adoption from June 12-14, 2009 at Camp Nah-Jee-Wah in Milford, Pennsylvania. A detailed description of the program can be found on the website (entered above) or by visiting the NJ Y Camps website at http://www.njycamps.org/families/html/forever_families.html. We will be exploring what it means to be part of the Jewish community and part of the adoption community at the same time – all while enjoying the best that Jewish summer camp has to offer!
Fast Food and Physics Phun
Pumpkin and I went on a date last night. It was a true celebration of our geek love — a trip to Burgerville followed by a run through the Da Vinci exhibit at OMSI After Dark, a monthly adult-only event our local science museum holds.
It was really nice to just hold my sweetie’s hand and see the smile on his face when he looked at (and operated some of) the re-creations of Da Vinci’s inventions. There were some cool things to see. I also felt a little jaded about the exhibit because the tone was very block buster-y (“25 Secrets Revealed about the Mona Lisa”) and everything was a reproduction. You know, when you’ve seen an actual painting by Da Vinci, a digital reproduction just isn’t that interesting.
Boy seemed to take our leaving him with our (and his) best friends for the evening pretty well. He keeps asking us why we went to the science museum without him.
Movin’ (on up)
Some time ago, I asked my boss how a person becomes a manager here.
He’s delighted in my interest, and I’m happy to say that he’s working with me on a plan to have me become the lead researcher over the next six months.
I feel awkward about it when I think about the other people on the team who have been here longer and have more technical skills than I have. But, as my boss reminds me, he can’t teach them the management, communication and leadership skills that I already have.
About a week ago, our support person left. She had her own cube, while most of the rest of us worked together in a four-cube pod. (Can you guess where I’m going?) We took this change as an opportunity to move me out, in part because the new staffer has some skills my boss wants her to share with the other researchers and in part because he felt it would increase the likelihood that others in the division will start to see me as set apart from my colleagues.
I don’t know that it is true. I do know that I feel set apart and more autonomous somehow.
