So, I was thrilled when I learned that he was doing a reading as a fundraiser for our agency. He was coming into town to keynote a ground-breaking conference our agency was sponsoring on pro-choice adoption.

The family-friendly event was held in our local feminist bookstore. Dan read from The Kid, a book he wrote about 10 years ago, against a backdrop of ceramic vaginas and with instructions to keep it clean. And, in case you haven’t heard him on This American Life or read his column, this request is, well, a big one. Which led to more than one joke referencing ceramic vaginas when he might have used more colorful language.

He still gets choked up when he tells the story of taking D.J. from his firstmom in the hospital. I imagine that if I ever told the story of taking Butternut, I would get choked up, too. But I don’t, because I don’t like crying in public.

Questions from the audience, much of which was made up of adoptive parents, focused on his open adoption experience and updates on Melissa (D.J.’s first mom — or, I suppose in this case, mom). I only realized after that no one really asked about the writing process, other than to ask how Melissa felt about being written about. Dan’s written about her in two books, now. He said that she was okay with The Kid, and that he had told her before they adopted that he was a writer and he tended to write about people in his life.

He also told the story of why no movie of The Kid was made, despite the book’s having been optioned. Seems the producers wanted to turn Melissa into some kind of monster, with one draft of the script even including a scene of her shooting up in the hospital room. (Why? Read the book. How hard is it to build empathy for any of the characters?)

In case you’re wondering, first moms aren’t monsters. They aren’t perfect, selfless angels, either. Who amongst us is?